A rebuttal to the rebuttal of "Christian Cleavage"

I’ve been reading this so called debate on “Christian Cleavage,” and I thought perhaps it was time for someone with actual breasts to weigh in. You can read the original rebuttal by Jayson Bradley on Relevant Magazine. 

“I have one breast,” my five year old daughter informed me the other day. In reality she had a kitty stuffed down her shirt. 

“How nice for you,” I replied. “Remeber,” I warned her, “that play is ok at home, but outside of home, it could make people uncomfortable.” 

I have two children under the age of five, a son and a daughter, and in our house we say breast, vagina, and penis. Why? Because shaming our bodies begins much earlier than youth group sex talks. It starts as early as learning the names of body parts. Growing up I didn’t have a vagina or prepubescent breasts. I had “private parts.” And I understand why my parents did it. They wanted me to know that my sexual parts were privately owned and not to be shared. 

My parents were trying to protect us from sexual predators. Today there is increasing thought that “private parts” can enable sexual predators as children can’t identify where they were touched. But that’s not the only reason we don’t say “private parts” in our house. It’s because I don’t want my children growing up feeling that their vagina and penis are shameful beyond words. We don’t give cutsie nicknames either. We use the correct terms for our anatomy, though it occasionally results in surprised stares from strangers if my daughter says, “my vagina hurts.”  

There are many Christians today who believe that their bodies are shameful. In fact, there are some who’ve probably stopped reading this because I used the medical terms vagina, penis, and breasts. And there are others who are only reading this because of it. 

Healthy, mature, Christian men should support the freedom Christ has given to women. They don’t need to limit our polka dots or skirt lengths. A mature Christian woman knows what is appropriate. When I do not dress sexually, I’m telling the world that I know my value. I know who I am in Christ and I refuse to be seen as merely a sexual object. I can dress modestly while still looking attractive because I am unafraid and unashamed of the body that God knit together for me while I was still in my mother’s womb. Because any woman can tell you that a lady can wear all the “right” things and still radiate cheap sexuality. It’s not necessarily how short the skirt line is, it’s what is in her heart that comes out.

However, didn’t Paul say that he wouldn’t eat meat if it caused weaker Christians to falter? I think Jayson is minimizing the struggle that men have in order to push back against the nonsense Christian women go through. He's right to say that noticing cleavage isn't a sin. But as a woman it took me fifteen years of marriage to realize how visual men really are. They are wired that way by God, and while that isn't a bad thing, I feel that women do have a responsibility to protect the weaker sex.

For this very reason my cousin Lee* is in Zanzibar as a missionary and wears very modest clothing and a head scarf because she values sharing Christ more than she values her personal freedom. In America, a culture that is fine with baring every part of a woman’s breast but her nipples, our modesty can speak volumes.

That’s why my daughter can talk openly about breasts at home. She has that freedom to not be ashamed of her body. When we are in public we are more careful. Because we have liberty doesn't mean we are obligated to flaunt it. God forbid that I teach my daughter to use her freedom to cause others to stumble. 

Therefore it’s a team effort. Women, dress as a daughter of Christ and you will never go wrong. Men, submit your eyes to Christ and you will never go wrong. Women, protect men as they struggle with sexuality. Men, don't put restrictions on women that Christ has not. 

Let love guide us in all things, and we will show the world what love and freedom in Christ really looks like. And thanks Jayson Bradley for being unafraid to stick his neck out for women. We need more Christian men like him.

* Lee's name has been changed for her protection.